Skyward Escapes and City-Scapes

This is the hardest part
When you feel like you’re fading
All that you have has become unreal
Collapsing, and aching

All I want, All I want is right here
But love don’t live here anymore
(Love is dead, love is gone, love don’t live here anymore)
Love don’t live here anymore
(love is dead, love is gone, love don’t live here anymore)

Scene 5 – Afraid / “Love Is Dead”
At Rise:

EJ is sitting in the chair. Music plays then stops. Lights go up.

EJ

There are quite a few things that I’m afraid of.

(EJ wraps arms around self and takes a deep breath. Beat.)

Of being alone forever. Of the dark. Of falling.

(EJ lifts feet onto chair and hugs knees.)

But there’s one thing I fear, maybe not most, but enough that it affects me constantly.

(EJ stands wearily.)

I’m terrified of feeling empty.

(EJ paces absently lost in thought.)

I worry that it’s inevitable. I’m entirely convinced that eventually I’ll give up. Hope seems to be the one thing that never leaves and that hurts me most. Eventually though, I’ll become so damaged that it will leave.

(EJ stops pacing looks outward and presses hand to heart.)

Then love won’t live here anymore.

(Exit. Lights fade.)

themcbatcommander:

if you’re ever sad or depressed or self conscious about yourself just remember

there are people out there who masturbate to fictional ponies on a kids tv show and you’re not one of them

(Source: donkeykongcountry2, via thesavagefaolan)

My soul wants to pull me away
But all this hopelessness has won
And all these dreams wanna take me away
But this feeling just makes me stay

Apathy, has it’s hold on me

Scene 4 – Alone / “Lonely”
At Rise:

EJ is sitting in a chair center stage with a smallish blanket wrapped around her. Music plays then ends. Lights go up.

EJ

The first time I was ever tucked in and kissed goodnight was when I was about 14. It was by my best friend at the time’s mother.

(EJ stands and carefully folds the blanket and places it on the chair.)

Before then I thought that was just something people did in the movies and on television shows.

(EJ smiles slightly then shakes head no longer smiling. Beat.)

EJ

My mother isn’t a bad mom. She works hard to get us anything we want or need. The thing is, that she’s never really been there.

(EJ shrugs.)

I’m used to spending days on my own. She lives her life to travel and have fun and all of that. My last birthday I spent alone.

(EJ puts hands in pockets. Beat.)

I would’ve thought that by now I would be used to or even enjoy being alone.

(EJ shakes head. Beat.)

That isn’t the case at all. The opposite is true. I can’t stand being alone and apathetic. It probably also doesn’t help how awfully lonely being surrounded by people can be to me at times.

(EJ walks back to chair and picks up blanket. EJ shrugs before sitting down in the chair.)

I suppose we can’t help some things in our lives. This is one thing I can’t really change, as much as I’ve tried to.

(Lights fade.)

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.
(So I don’t know what’s real) So I don’t know what’s real and what’s not (and what’s not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can’t trust myself anymore

I’m dying again

I’m going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I’m falling forever (falling forever)
I’ve got to break through

Scene 3 – Falling / “Going Under”
At Rise:

EJ is sitting in a chair center stage. Music plays then ends. Lights go up.

EJ

(EJ stands and moves toward edge of stage. EJ looks down at floor below edge and looks out to audience.)

Sometimes it feels like I’m falling down a cliff into icy water below. Swimming and climbing back up would probably be so difficult that it’s likely to kill me, but the water is so cold that it definitely would.

(EJ wraps arm around self. Beat.)

I just need a hand

(EJ holds out hand then brings it back to self.)

but my voice is trapped by my fears and I can’t ask for help. There have been people who have lended a hand at least for a little bit, but it never seems to work out. They leave, or I do in some way or another and I fall back down with only the comfort that eventually at some point it will end, I will end.

(EJ looks down edge of stage. Lights fade.)

I really don’t want to have to work from 3-9 today.